I'm back from Jojo's early soccer game. The day is just gorgeous...clear blue skies, fall colors on the trees, leaves crunching on the roads and sidewalks...and temps in the mid 60s already. I am closing in on joy. Driving home from the field with the top off the Jeep, the cool crisp breezes touching me, my music cranking, and the smell of burning in the air... I love it - and I told my husband this makes me happy.
The game was a bit of a bust. Jojo's team got their tails womped....but they usually win, so memories of today will keep them humble.
I walked out to the field, while texting my Disney pals, and laughing at their replies...all the while walking out to the far field, I was engrossed in appreciating what a fun, nice bunch of friends I have. I approached the sideline and didn't see anyone familiar yet, so I chose a semi isolated spot to set up my chair and continue texting until the game. My husband ran to get us coffee, so I sat alone. A few minutes later another mom from Jojo's team walked up and set her chair next to me and I wound up talking to her. Our girls have played on the same team for two years and we have never talked. She introduced herself and the chatting just kicked off naturally. I left that field feeling so good for having met her.
We started talking about our soccer girls...which then led to our other kids.... school, and more. She asked me what it's like having a 21 yr old... I am a very shy person and extremely particular about who I let into my personal life (really! - most of my good friends are people I've known nearly my whole life) but I was feeling very comfortable with her (and kicking myself that I hadn't been friendly enough over two years to get to know her before now) So I answered her truthfully with "bad". "It's bad having a 21 year old."
She laughed...but asked "How come?" I told her everything. I just let it out. It was tough...but I did it, no tears...no watery eyes... just straight let it fly out of me. I had the beauty of the day in me.... I looked toward the golden and red tree line in the distance...and there was no crying or self pity allowed... Even though she did look at me with a little pity...it was understanding and kindness I saw in her eyes. I didn't feel judged or any negative vibes at all. I hope if some stranger ever dumps news like that on me that will be the expression I'll have on my face and the attitude I'll have in my heart. She asked me more questions and I was comfortable telling her the dirty details. She shared info about her own struggles with her kids and one in particular that she is worried about now. She also let me know she has mental illness in her own extended family and concerns, and she asked me my advice...Then to close the conversation, when the game was over, she shared something more personal, too - to kind of "level the playing field", I think. I do believe we all have "something"...some secret that we are ashamed to show or share. Today I admitted mine...and she was wonderful. It makes me tear up now because I am proud of myself for telling her and telling it with no drama...just facts...and proud of her for her reaction and the conversation it all led to. And proud because I think I made a new friend.
She is actually the second person I told this week - but the first one that I told out loud, face to face. The other person is my soccer mom friend. I told her on Monday. We were Facebook chatting online and something came up in our discussion and I let her know about Zack's illness. She was great, too. She offered advice and options and all kinds of interesting information. She's just a completely fascinating person in general. I felt comfortable telling her because she has "lived". She is a nature photographer and artist...She suggested all kinds of out of the box remedies. She has intriguing connections around the world and wants to help me find some mystical cure for Zack. I may have to let her try.
To Be Continued....
The perfect day to share secrets
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