Yesterday I finished the application for Pioneer Center. I called to inquire about the next step, left a message for Sandy, received a return call, and now have an intake appointment scheduled for next Friday. Next week is going to be big....SSI interview on Tuesday, hopefully doctor appointment on Thursday, and then this meeting Friday. I'm forced to move ahead faster than I am comfortable with because TAPS is tapering Zack out of their daily group.
He was home all day yesterday and it was pathetic. It really bothers me to see him waste his time, his day, his life. And that's what he does and where he's at right now.... so he really needs forced structure outside the house. Pioneer not only has group homes, but day groups that he can participate in. "Can"...but will he....? He certainly never gave his all to TAPS. Sandy said she'd be able to "gauge" Zack during the meeting on Friday. Hopefully they will be able to offer something appropriate for him.
Today, I am tackling the mega medicare/medicaid...not sure which...application so that on Tuesday after the SSI interview I can take it across to apply for that. Pioneer Center does not take private insurance so I have to have all the ducks in a row for Zack to be accepted into any of their programs. Both this app and the Pioneer Center app ask for proof of household income. I am going to be pissed if because of my husband's income Zack is ineligible..... we have two other minor kids we need to look out for, Zack is 21... are we supposed to spend the rest of our lives supporting him? The problem with that is we cannot support him in a group home...that would cost thousands of dollars monthly and probably break us. I am very concerned....
While Zack was home hanging out during the day yesterday, he actually asked me if he could shop for clothes. I was glad about that! He needs to clean up his look. But I also knew that there was a sneaky secret behind that request.... what he really wanted was gas in his car and cash in his pocket...freedom to make dumb damaging choices. After a lot of back and forth discussion we decided how he would shop alone....because to be seen with his mom in public is just still so distasteful to him. Of course he wanted me to give him cash and he drive off on his own. He spent quite a while working me over...he has always been a manipulator... but I stood strong. No driving...no money. I told him I cannot have him tempted to blow it now. So I drove him to the store, he shopped, put clothes on hold, and I went and paid for them. Now we'll see if he wears them....I've noticed he wears the same things repeatedly. With his slippers. I was able to convince him to wear his shoes to shop in. I felt like that was making progress.
I am worried about mentioning the Thanksgiving trip....and having any discussion of the Pioneer Center options. His reactions aren't predictable. He has not mentioned the group home since the day he called to ask about it. I'm not sure what to think about that.
Zack is under the impression that TAPS is tapering him off because that's it...he's good and done. He doesn't realize they are ending it with him because they can't help him. It's been two months and they've tried. I don't think he is aware that there is more intensive group time ahead for him. He's not even aware that he's sick. He truly believes he's fine...and that's a big part of the problem we're facing trying to get him well. He has no insight....no understanding of what's happening to him. Zack was the one that mentioned to me, in the morning yesterday, that he didn't have to go to TAPS...and he was proud of that...like we all finally realized he's fine and doesn't require further help. I was surprised he knew no TAPS... and remembered. But he did....because that was important enough to him. When he finds out about what's coming next week it won't be pleasant.
To Be Continued.....
Part of me is really looking forward to a little Disney magic
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